I find myself in a moral conflict, yet again. I don't exactly know what I'm doing with myself or with my life in general, and it seems to me that I have failed greatly. I have the opportunity to go to India this summer; this is an opportunity that I shall not pass up. (as passing up free travel is quite an idiotic thing to do, regardless of circumstance) I don't know what I'm doing, I should be doing a lab for this worthless shithole of a computer class, but I don't want to. Could it be that I don't want to succeed out of contempt for other influences in my life? Or could it perhaps be the fact that I feel I have nothing true to succeed for. Then again, I suppose I should do it for myself, and therein lies the problem. My personal self-image is that I'm a lethargic, stupid person and that I don't owe myself even that much. Oh the malaise that is negativity. I don't know why I'm writing this; who will respond anyway? I feel detatched from those I once felt it a necessity to be around. My friends have moved away or have excommunicated me from their lives, and I've done the same to them. I feel distant and unsure. I feel tired and unimportant. I feel unworthy of the life that I'm enjoying/demolishing, or what have you. Sigh, I have nothing left to say. This will be my last journal entry, as I find little reason to partake in this sad conglomeration without any outside incentives.

Good luck, and goodbye.